You take yourself with you, wherever you go
You take yourself with you, wherever you go.
You think that ditching the job, the apartment, the relationship, the volunteer position, will automatically mean that life is bright and shiny—better.
No. You take yourself with you, wherever you go. You will still wake up in that new apartment, at the desk in that new job, and in a hundred other scenarios with the essential habits and Stories unchanged—unless of course, you put the time and work into changing them.
You fantasize about selling everything and moving to Paris, walking along the Seine in the rain, thrilling to the sound of French being spoken around you.
No. You take yourself with you, wherever you go. If you are someone who found fault with your old life, you will find fault with this one. You will be charmed for a week or two. Then the rain will be cold. It will be exhausting figuring out where you’re going. You will be annoyed with the French for correcting your grammar.
If you want to live a different life, a better life, the work will always be the work within. It’s never going to be different than that. Other people and new places, different houses and exciting new jobs will always be the spark of something new and wonderful that can be born within us—but if the same old habits and Stories are remaining unchanged, eventually we will apply them to that new and wonderful thing, place, or person.
If you haven’t made relationships work in the past, yes, your partner was part of the issue because you were both two halves in a relationship—but make no mistake, you were part of the issue.
If you haven’t liked any job you’ve ever had, yes, the job itself might not be a fit for your soul—but make no mistake, you were part of the equation, too.
You take yourself with you, wherever you go.
If you truly want to live a better life, look at the habits and Stories—the belief systems—that most make you feel like shit. Consciously reframe them. The job you hate? Find the good in it. The apartment that isn’t working? Find the good in it. The relationship that’s on the skids? Try to learn about yourself, within that scenario.
Yes, you may still eventually leave and change things up (I’m a life coach for Chrissakes—of course I’m a fan of people taking the courageous move and changing things up). But this time, having done the internal work, when you take yourself with you wherever you go, you’ll literally be taking a new self to a new place to be amid a new opportunity. That’s how things will really (finally) feel different.