The ultimate life killer: "being realistic"

Seriously, though–you’ve gotta forget about “being realistic” with your life, your plans, your vision, your dreams.

Creating implementable steps? Sure.
Taking it one bit at a time? Okay.

But dumbing down your big dream or not going after it at all in the name of “being realistic”? No.

I’ve never gotten anywhere in my life by “being realistic.”

Guess what? If you’re trying to “be realistic,” you’re not getting anywhere, either. The admonishment to “be realistic” is really a euphemism for “don’t bother thinking you’ll get much” or “if lower your hopes and dreams by being realistic, you won’t feel the sting of disappointment.”

They told me to…

People have told me to “be realistic” about:

• growing my business

• healing my body

• making money

• available job opportunities

• healing relationships

• living where I want to live

• affording something I wanted to afford

For example: I was told to “be realistic” about a health issue that, it turned out–and I knew this in every cell of my being, all along–there was a way to fix (the doctors were WRONG).

I was told to “be realistic” about starting my coaching business and seeing it make money. I was told to “be realistic” about healing relationships–that “people don’t change” and I “shouldn’t expect much.” I was told to “be realistic” about being able to afford wild travel adventures or the house I live in, today.

Take a moment to think about all the places in your own life where you’ve been told to “be realistic,” to reign it in, to not hope for too much.

Chances are, this “be realistic” line has poisoned several areas of your life–career, money, intimacy, partnerships, connection, creativity, passions…

Then consider where else in our world we tell ourselves to “be realistic,” and how that negatively impacts our quality of living, as a collective whole.

Being realistic is a parasitic way of thinking. People stop working to change poverty or oppression in the name of “being realistic.” Or they tell themselves to stay in jobs that they hate because they don’t think there’s another way to live, resulting in a culture where most people hate what they do eight hours a day. We tell ourselves that “people don’t change” and so it’s better to avoid those family members who push our buttons than it is to enter into collaboration (the latter is certainly more valuable). Being realistic is the ultimate life-killer.

Look–lots of people have told me lots of things over the years about “being realistic,” and what it always has amounted to was that their own world view was limited.

Every single time I decided that I’d take in their feedback–while pursuing my own highest vision for what I wanted–it has worked out for me.

Every. Single. Time.

What’s realistic is only ever this: what you clarify wanting for yourself, and what you dare to go after.

That’s it. That’s the kind of “realistic” that I choose–the reality of looking around, asking what’s possible, then asking what else is possible, and putting positive action in that direction.

Along the way, there’s sweat and work and disappointment and tears, but all of that is a pretty worthy price to pay.

Practical action + “unrealistic” life dreams is a wicked powerful combination.

So–If you weren’t “being realistic,” what would go on your life list?